What the junk?

Ok, so, like, I want to write a blog.

It turns out my brother's middle name is "surrealist". I prefer to think of him as the same Samuel who I beat with a deadly weapon known as the two sock mace. I mean mace as in the medieval ball with spikes sticking out of it, not the can of smelly substance. Or do I? A sock off the feet, is as good as two in the hand, as no one has ever said.

Anyway, this blog, as it was originally devoted to rivalling and perhaps eventually shaming this charlatan known as my brother, had better get the near-abortive show on the road. Disappointing opening lines are always a killer to any blog.
My examples of this are:


1. I want to talk about my hobby: making fishbone toothpicks.

2. This is my blog: it is totally, like, focused on me, and stuff.

3. This is a blawg about the rigours of law school and about how you mere peons can't live up to my bounteous intellect.

4. Hi, my name is Jacxon. I am an alcoholic, and this is my blog.

5. Whilst the first line will be in English, the rest will be in a language known only to myself. Coqetzel Mandana Janccoki!

6. This blog will be about your business, and how to recession proof your bank account! First Post (of 999) free!


Fortunately, my blog didn't have any of these.